There is No Hypocrisy in Recovery.

rimon A friend from work came to my home for dinner Friday night (Shabbat). She gave me twenty minutes notice but I was so happy to have a guest. I made a beautiful party table for the two of us, lit my two Shabbat candles, and started gathering salads. I opened a can of black olives and put them in a party dish. That was one salad. I opened a can of sliced beets and put them in a party dish. Two salads. I peeled a rimon (Indian Apple) and put the translucent red seeds in a party dish. Three salads. (more…)

Writer’s Block.

I’ve been having trouble writing lately because I believe that Recovery is boring. Who wants to read about somebody who got dressed in the morning, made it to work on time, sold refrigerators, finished her shift, picked up fried chicken from a drive-thru restaurant, ate it in from of the television, and then went to bed? It’s boring, right? Now stories about the narcissist, those are exciting! Both exciting to read and exciting to write. I can’t believe the crazy shit they do! But, unfortunately, their cruelties are real. Stories about narcissists get the blood flowing. Then there’s Recovery. The thing is, (more…)

Public Perception of Psychopaths.

I went to shul (Jewish church) this Shabbat and the rabbi started a debate about capital punishment, killing a criminal who has committed a horrible crime (instead of placing them in prison). Naturally the conversation turned to evil and people who commit evil crimes as the congregation debated the ethics of when it is okay to kill a criminal or if it is okay at all to kill. At one point, I was sitting with a mathematician, a doctor, and a psychologist/historian who mentioned psychopaths. She said that a psychopath is a person who is born without a conscience, therefore, they can’t (more…)

I’m still having dreams about Homelessness. #3

This time, the dream lasted for several hours in real time. Again the villain was my step-father, with my mother by his side; although they never appeared in the dream. He was kicking me out of the house again and I had to sort my belongings into stuff that I could maybe save and stuff I had to abandon. This dream was all about my belongings. For hours and hours, I was sorting my possessions, revisiting old memories and my younger self, thinking about the places I had been and how I felt about things in my past. It was emotionally (more…)

Hate Crime at Jerusalem’s Gay Pride Parade. 30 July 2015.

Yesterday, the city of Jerusalem (the Jewish side, of course) hosted their 12th Annual Gay Pride Parade and a horrific hate crime was committed. Haaretz news reported it this way: In the midst of Jerusalem’s Gay Pride Parade on Thursday, a “religious” Jew stabbed six people. The assailant was apprehended and it quickly became clear that he had committed an almost identical crime before going to prison for ten years, only to be released last month; free to vent his blood thirsty hatred again. A Haredi Jew (ultra-Orthodox) ran blindly into the crowd of about 3,000 people and started randomly stabbing anyone (more…)

Remembering the Narcissist and the Mania. Today I unpacked a box from Israel and found one of my homemade, inspirational posters that was dated “20 June 2013”. I can’t upload a photograph of the poster because it has David’s real name on it, inside a pink and purple heart, of course; but the poster says this: What would I be able to accomplish if David were arriving today? You see, after the narcissist David left me (discarded me), I believed he was coming back soon. He kept telling me that he could not and would not be coming back ever; but I refused to listen. I (more…)

Faith In Love & Rejecting the New Guy.

I went on my first date in ages (post: First Date ), and it was far more enjoyable than I expected. That’s the good news. The bad news is that I didn’t feel carried away by passion. I broke up with a decent human being because I didn’t feel “love at first sight”. I have not decided if that makes me crazy or not. First, let’s discuss the Jewish part of this dilemma and then the wounded spirit part. The Jewish Part: I believe in the kiddusha of the zivug. Translation: I believe that God-our-Creator creates a soul and then divides it into two (more…)