“Are twin flames really just empaths and narcissists?”

Now that’s an interesting question… My answer is: no and the proof is in the seduction. The narcissist seeks out empaths, kind-hearted individuals who are sensitive to other people’s emotional pain. The empaths have great difficulty separating their own feelings from the strong impressions created within them by other people’s feelings. The empaths must necessarily lack boundaries in order to use their gift of empathy, being able to feel other people’s feelings. If empaths could block out the outside world, then they wouldn’t feel compelled to help others with their strong emotional needs. Therefore, empaths are somewhat exposed and lacking in (more…)

Recovery is Being Generous to Yourself.

Yesterday, I wrote that “There is no hypocrisy in recovery.” link As survivors of narcissistic abuse, we have all made pledges that quote “I won’t be fooled again” and “I will never ignore red flags again”, “I learned my lesson”, etcetera. But maybe you will fall off the self-esteem wagon. Maybe you will get lonely and pick up with the first person who offers you a kind word. After all, isn’t that how you got into trouble the last time? I don’t think this is hypocrisy, saying one thing but doing another. I think it’s just a stage in the recovery (more…)

The 2nd anniversary of the day I left Israel to be with the narcissist.

Yesterday I realized that August 28th, 2015 was the 2nd anniversary of the day I left Israel to be with the narcissist. It has been two years since I left Israel. Wow, I can’t believe it. It’s been a terrible time for me, really crappy, but it feels like a rough month – not two years! I remember everything so vividly. I was living in my rental apartment in Safed. I was on the top floor and my bedroom window looked out upon the moon. Every night, I used to lie in bed, window completely ajar, no screens, feel the breeze (more…)

Disney’s Descendants, Unicorns, Love, and HSP’s.

The heroine says:Love is not weak or ridiculous. It’s actually really amazing. I’ve been watching this kid’s movie, “Disney’s Descendants”, about the children of villains, who are given scholarships to attend a prestigious prep school. Will the kids continue to be hooligans? Or will they seize the opportunity to become good citizens? This movie plot has all of my favorite elements (and more): movie_list gorgeous costumes and imaginative settings grand battle between good and evil protagonist raised by an evil guardian people are not whom they seem to be good friends stick together magick is a neutral tool hero is changed (more…)

Addiction, Alcoholism, and Codependency. (And Narcissism)

by unknown artist If you are a follower of this blog, you probably read the obituary I wrote for my old college boyfriend, Hayden. He was a messed up man… and he made me messed up, too. It took me years to get over that relationship ending. I couldn’t accept it that two people who loved each other so much could still fail. I wanted to believe that “Love conquers all.” I wanted to believe it like a Religion. Hayden and I met in May of 1987 when I was a student at the University of Memphis in Memphis, Tennessee. I (more…)

Decoding My Ankle Pain.

http://www.amazon.com/You-Heal-Your-Life-Gift/dp/B009CRP2ZA/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1426221176&sr=8-3&keywords=you+can+heal+your+life+by+louise+hay A few days ago, my feet started hurting me like a @#$%&* so I took anti-inflammatories (aspirin, ibuprofen, Tylenol) and put Salon-Pas aspirin patches on the tops of my feet. Eventually I noticed that my ankles were swollen more than I have ever seen before in my life. My first thought was “Look at that lymph! I have to make a doctor’s appointment asap.” My second thought was that I had better look it up in Louise Hay’s classic reference book “Heal Your Life”. My copy is in storage so I looked it up online. Ankle pain: resistance to pleasure, resistance (more…)

HSP vs. Codependent.

While being a Highly Sensitive Person and being Codependent both have connections to chaos and addiction, they are different. I reject the pop-psych label of codependency because I think it is an illusion. There are better ways to discuss unhealthy behavior. For example, one could say “Rivka, you’re seeking validation from others.” or “Rivka, you’re putting his needs before your own.” I never finished reading the self-help book I bought about codependency because only one-fifth of the behaviors seemed applicable to me. I scored especially badly in the compliance and control behaviors. Which is to say, I want to be needed (more…)