Today’s LOL.

WordPress says: “It’s been 25 days since you published I Forgive The Narcissist. ” And it has zero likes! I laughed when I saw that. What’s wrong with you people? I finally turned my corner. Three YEARS it took me to get to a serene place and not one reader hits “Like”!  I get it. You are holding onto the anger because you are waiting for justice.     Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click (more…)

Recovery: Clinging to Tension.

I watched another sappy movie this morning, a new one this time, the black African-American version of “Annie”. It was really good. It had me with tears streaming down my face – and that’s what I needed. I tend to hold tension in my body. I literally cleave it to my cells. Physically, it is most obvious when I get my menstrual cycle. I can feel the changes in my body and know that it is time to release, but I wait for it… and it doesn’t happen. I often make myself as late as 10 days. Then I need to (more…)

“Are twin flames really just empaths and narcissists?”

Now that’s an interesting question… My answer is: no and the proof is in the seduction. The narcissist seeks out empaths, kind-hearted individuals who are sensitive to other people’s emotional pain. The empaths have great difficulty separating their own feelings from the strong impressions created within them by other people’s feelings. The empaths must necessarily lack boundaries in order to use their gift of empathy, being able to feel other people’s feelings. If empaths could block out the outside world, then they wouldn’t feel compelled to help others with their strong emotional needs. Therefore, empaths are somewhat exposed and lacking in (more…)

“Manipulative Love Letters”, excerpt #5. The Other Woman.

Rebekah             I’m sorry I should have been more specific this afternoon when we sorta talked. I can’t or couldn’t (depending on when you read this) see you tonight because I was afraid to! As I said for the past five nights in a row you have treated me like poison for 5 different reasons. I’ve got to take a break from that. I’ve tried to tell you over and over again that I’m right on the “edge”. I need comfort and love and a hell of a lot more understanding than I deserve. You’ve shown me that you can’t do (more…)

I had an Epiphany about the Narcissist.

I’ve been working on creating an audiobook about the Jewish daily prayers. I was doing a segment explaining what a brit is (a covenant) and I had an epiphany about the narcissist. Basically, I was explaining how I loved the narcissist unconditionally. I compared my love for David to the way God feels about us, which is to say that no matter what I do, God will never abandon me. He is right by my side, even when I behave like a rotten stinker. In a thunderclap moment, I realized that something was wrong with what I was saying. I stopped to (more…)

Better Self-Care.

I did something important today towards BETTER SELF-CARE. I went to Quest Diagnostics and did a blood test. My doctor wanted a CBC, of course, but also thyroid, fasting lipids, vitamins B & D, and hepatic function. She has made no secret that she is disgusted with my weight obesity, currently 226 pounds. (I decided to give her one more shot to speak nicely to me or I am going to switch doctors. Of course, I have to say something to her first. Again, I got angry when someone overstepped my boundaries, but I didn’t say anything. But I will. When (more…)

Recovery is Being Generous to Yourself.

Yesterday, I wrote that “There is no hypocrisy in recovery.” link As survivors of narcissistic abuse, we have all made pledges that quote “I won’t be fooled again” and “I will never ignore red flags again”, “I learned my lesson”, etcetera. But maybe you will fall off the self-esteem wagon. Maybe you will get lonely and pick up with the first person who offers you a kind word. After all, isn’t that how you got into trouble the last time? I don’t think this is hypocrisy, saying one thing but doing another. I think it’s just a stage in the recovery (more…)