“Manipulative Love Letters”, excerpt #5. The Other Woman.

Rebekah             I’m sorry I should have been more specific this afternoon when we sorta talked. I can’t or couldn’t (depending on when you read this) see you tonight because I was afraid to! As I said for the past five nights in a row you have treated me like poison for 5 different reasons. I’ve got to take a break from that. I’ve tried to tell you over and over again that I’m right on the “edge”. I need comfort and love and a hell of a lot more understanding than I deserve. You’ve shown me that you can’t do (more…)

Writer’s Block.

I’ve been having trouble writing lately because I believe that Recovery is boring. Who wants to read about somebody who got dressed in the morning, made it to work on time, sold refrigerators, finished her shift, picked up fried chicken from a drive-thru restaurant, ate it in from of the television, and then went to bed? It’s boring, right? Now stories about the narcissist, those are exciting! Both exciting to read and exciting to write. I can’t believe the crazy shit they do! But, unfortunately, their cruelties are real. Stories about narcissists get the blood flowing. Then there’s Recovery. The thing is, (more…)

Red Flags that Your Lover is Abusive.

I am re-posting this image because it is a snapshot of my ex-marriage to my ex-abuser. Conversations went like this: ignore me yawn avoid eye contact interrupt mention some mistake I made 3 years ago deny talk thru me or shout over me be dismissive hijack the conversation Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share (more…)

I had a dream about the narcissist and his new girlfriend.

Actually, it wasn’t a dream. It was a photograph. Remember the old instant cameras that took a photo that was square with a white border around it? I saw one of those photos in my mind while I was asleep, and I “knew” it was from David’s Facebook page. [To be clear, David blocked me from his Facebook over a year ago and I never tried to circumvent his ruling. I could have gone to mutual acquaintances to see what he posted, but I knew the narcissist well enough to be certain that he would use his Facebook profile as a (more…)

The 2nd anniversary of the day I left Israel to be with the narcissist.

Yesterday I realized that August 28th, 2015 was the 2nd anniversary of the day I left Israel to be with the narcissist. It has been two years since I left Israel. Wow, I can’t believe it. It’s been a terrible time for me, really crappy, but it feels like a rough month – not two years! I remember everything so vividly. I was living in my rental apartment in Safed. I was on the top floor and my bedroom window looked out upon the moon. Every night, I used to lie in bed, window completely ajar, no screens, feel the breeze (more…)

Disney’s Descendants, Unicorns, Love, and HSP’s.

The heroine says:Love is not weak or ridiculous. It’s actually really amazing. I’ve been watching this kid’s movie, “Disney’s Descendants”, about the children of villains, who are given scholarships to attend a prestigious prep school. Will the kids continue to be hooligans? Or will they seize the opportunity to become good citizens? This movie plot has all of my favorite elements (and more): movie_list gorgeous costumes and imaginative settings grand battle between good and evil protagonist raised by an evil guardian people are not whom they seem to be good friends stick together magick is a neutral tool hero is changed (more…)

A New Job.

In two days, I work my final shift at the clothing store. My lovely, responsibility-free, part-time job is over – and it’s time. I took that job because I had a nervous breakdown after the narcissist discarded me. I needed work that required nothing of me (a job that is frequently given to autistic adults) yet would give me some spending money. I found that combination at the clothing store. I would go in, hang up some clothes, pick up random merchandise that got scattered around the store, and put things back where they belonged. A place for everything and everything in (more…)