Recovery Update 01 Nov 2016.

I started seeing a therapist, a CP – Clinical Psychologist. I tried very hard to navigate the US health care/insurance industry to choose a {helper} who could assess my depression and write me PRESCRIPTIONS for medicine… but I failed. It turns out PC’s cannot write scripts in Illinois; so we just talk. It’s a start. I spent the last session talking about my brother’s cocaine use and drug addiction. I whined about how (wait, here it comes – Why me?) why can’t I live in a house with no drugs in it? Is that an unreasonable request? To have a drug-free (more…)

I Forgive The Narcissist.

Yet another old friend person from my past found me via social media and used the reconnect to give me the shpiel: Wow, you’re back from Israel. You’re such a liar / such a hypocrite / such a failure / such a fraud. Admittedly, the second part isn’t spoken out loud – but I still hear it. Random people judge me and express that I let them down. I let everyone down when I left Israel. The thing is that most of the time, they aren’t trying to be mean when they let me know (through body language or words or pity) (more…)

Recovery Music.

I signed up for Pandora today, only 16 years behind everyone else. Pandora is an app of internet radio stations that have fewer commercials than YouTube, but don’t allow you to make your own music playlists like YouTube does. I chose a musician, Selena Gomez, and then Pandora suggested similar musicians that I might like. Meh. Music used to be so important to me. You know how you can vividly remember a year by the music you were listening to at the time? 1978 = ABBA, The Beatles, KISS 1983 = Madonna, Duran Duran 1990 = The Cure, They Might Be (more…)

Update. 03 Aug 2016.

most every day i think about blogging but get too tired at night. i wish i had an i-phone so i could just speak my posts. but really, it’s to play POKEMON GO! my phone gets so hot that i have to remove the case and set it down on a cold surface. waah. i only have 6 pokemon. it’s been 5 weeks since i developed SHINGLES. they are still showing on my tummy. if i get over tired, they tingle – but they are not hurting me. BH. they won’t go away, but they don’t hurt. they’re just sitting there, (more…)

Journal. 21 June 2016. Loneliness.

Last night was the Summer Solstice and the Strawberry Full Moon – which was beautiful here in Chicagoland. In ye olde days, I would have gone out into the darkness in search of a drumming circle in the forest or a bonfire on the beach… but boring, broken Rebekah went home and went to bed early. I don’t even call myself “Rivka” anymore. It’s been a sad, difficult month as I struggle with constant thoughts of suicide. I am not planning another suicide. (At least I don’t think so. Sometimes the so-called “right time” just pops up and then I obey (more…)

Aspirations.

Ways I want to IMPROVE MY LIFE: EAT at the TABLE, not at the TV. WALK every day. READ more. GOOD STUFF i already do: daily vitamins chiropractic care live with cats SHABBAT Limit caffeine Drink water instead of soda.   (version 14Apr2016)   Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in (more…)

Chiropractic with Dr. Marité.

It annoys me that Chiropractic can end in an “-ic” but still be a noun, yet that is the case. I am one month behind in writing posts about the chiropractor, so I am skipping ahead to write about the visit I had today. I like Doctor Marité because she is an intuitive like me. Our vibrations run very similar and she can easily find my sore spots and subluxations without being told by me where they are. However, I am impatient and I would sometimes like to tell her, “Please go here, now!” Doctor Marité starts by taking my left (more…)