“Are twin flames really just empaths and narcissists?”

Now that’s an interesting question… My answer is: no and the proof is in the seduction. The narcissist seeks out empaths, kind-hearted individuals who are sensitive to other people’s emotional pain. The empaths have great difficulty separating their own feelings from the strong impressions created within them by other people’s feelings. The empaths must necessarily lack boundaries in order to use their gift of empathy, being able to feel other people’s feelings. If empaths could block out the outside world, then they wouldn’t feel compelled to help others with their strong emotional needs. Therefore, empaths are somewhat exposed and lacking in (more…)

“Manipulative Love Letters”, excerpt #5. The Other Woman.

Rebekah             I’m sorry I should have been more specific this afternoon when we sorta talked. I can’t or couldn’t (depending on when you read this) see you tonight because I was afraid to! As I said for the past five nights in a row you have treated me like poison for 5 different reasons. I’ve got to take a break from that. I’ve tried to tell you over and over again that I’m right on the “edge”. I need comfort and love and a hell of a lot more understanding than I deserve. You’ve shown me that you can’t do (more…)

I had an Epiphany about the Narcissist.

I’ve been working on creating an audiobook about the Jewish daily prayers. I was doing a segment explaining what a brit is (a covenant) and I had an epiphany about the narcissist. Basically, I was explaining how I loved the narcissist unconditionally. I compared my love for David to the way God feels about us, which is to say that no matter what I do, God will never abandon me. He is right by my side, even when I behave like a rotten stinker. In a thunderclap moment, I realized that something was wrong with what I was saying. I stopped to (more…)

Better Self-Care.

I did something important today towards BETTER SELF-CARE. I went to Quest Diagnostics and did a blood test. My doctor wanted a CBC, of course, but also thyroid, fasting lipids, vitamins B & D, and hepatic function. She has made no secret that she is disgusted with my weight obesity, currently 226 pounds. (I decided to give her one more shot to speak nicely to me or I am going to switch doctors. Of course, I have to say something to her first. Again, I got angry when someone overstepped my boundaries, but I didn’t say anything. But I will. When (more…)

Recovery is Being Generous to Yourself.

Yesterday, I wrote that “There is no hypocrisy in recovery.” link As survivors of narcissistic abuse, we have all made pledges that quote “I won’t be fooled again” and “I will never ignore red flags again”, “I learned my lesson”, etcetera. But maybe you will fall off the self-esteem wagon. Maybe you will get lonely and pick up with the first person who offers you a kind word. After all, isn’t that how you got into trouble the last time? I don’t think this is hypocrisy, saying one thing but doing another. I think it’s just a stage in the recovery (more…)

Recovery Takes a Detour.

Exactly 4 weeks ago, I quote <<upgraded>> from a part-time job in retail, where my primary responsibilities were a) hanging up clothes and b) cashiering to a full-time <<career opportunity>> as the Lead Sales Manager at a scratch-and-dent appliance store (i.e. refrigerators, built-in dishwashers, washers and dryers, freezers, ovens, etcetera) From my point of view, I was on my way… Recovery from my nervous breakdown (I think it’s fair to call it that.), recovery from an unsuccessful but highly aggressive suicide attempt, recovery from the setback of dating and loving a narcissist – all that recovery was on its’ way, moving forward (more…)

I had a dream about the narcissist and his new girlfriend.

Actually, it wasn’t a dream. It was a photograph. Remember the old instant cameras that took a photo that was square with a white border around it? I saw one of those photos in my mind while I was asleep, and I “knew” it was from David’s Facebook page. [To be clear, David blocked me from his Facebook over a year ago and I never tried to circumvent his ruling. I could have gone to mutual acquaintances to see what he posted, but I knew the narcissist well enough to be certain that he would use his Facebook profile as a (more…)