Update. 03 Aug 2016.

most every day i think about blogging but get too tired at night. i wish i had an i-phone so i could just speak my posts. but really, it’s to play POKEMON GO! my phone gets so hot that i have to remove the case and set it down on a cold surface. waah. i only have 6 pokemon. it’s been 5 weeks since i developed SHINGLES. they are still showing on my tummy. if i get over tired, they tingle – but they are not hurting me. BH. they won’t go away, but they don’t hurt. they’re just sitting there, (more…)

Choosing Less Stress.

I made a choice today that was against stress. I decided to leave work for my one-hour dinner break even though I had packed a lunch. It costs about an hour’s pay to have dinner in the restaurant near work, but that was part of my financial plan when I took the job. I figured the cost into my weekly/monthly budget of having a relaxing dinner in a restaurant (instead of at work) when I work the longer shifts.  It’s a pleasant walk in the sunshine and fresh air. Then I eat a hot meal and I usually have enough leftover (more…)

Sometimes You Just Gotta Write Shit Down.

For a new post title, I’m thinking: If You Don’t Like Complaints, Then Don’t Read This Post. Nothin’ To See Here, Folks. or the slightly cryptic “Going Dark” Well, I have discovered that I cannot write a recovery blog when I am not recovering. The cycles of grief are just the same shit over again. And I know it’s crazy. I am doing the same shit over again and I am feeling the same shit over again and it’s been TWO YEARS since I saw the narcissist. What the fuck! Reality is that I have no idea where he is or what (more…)

Chiropractic with Dr. Marité.

It annoys me that Chiropractic can end in an “-ic” but still be a noun, yet that is the case. I am one month behind in writing posts about the chiropractor, so I am skipping ahead to write about the visit I had today. I like Doctor Marité because she is an intuitive like me. Our vibrations run very similar and she can easily find my sore spots and subluxations without being told by me where they are. However, I am impatient and I would sometimes like to tell her, “Please go here, now!” Doctor Marité starts by taking my left (more…)

And the Secret to Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse is… Chiropractic Adjustment.

Let’s look back at how I was feeling: 13July2015. I haven’t been writing this week because I’ve been in a deep, dark funk. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to stop existing. This is not the same as having suicidal thoughts, although I would step over a cliff if I could do it without being seen; but not anything active (versus passive). I was thinking more along the lines of seeing a giant whirlpool open up in the carpet and suck me into non-existence just like some cheesy special effect in a Dr. Who episode. The carpet absorbs me. (more…)

Recovery: Clinging to Tension.

I watched another sappy movie this morning, a new one this time, the black African-American version of “Annie”. It was really good. It had me with tears streaming down my face – and that’s what I needed. I tend to hold tension in my body. I literally cleave it to my cells. Physically, it is most obvious when I get my menstrual cycle. I can feel the changes in my body and know that it is time to release, but I wait for it… and it doesn’t happen. I often make myself as late as 10 days. Then I need to (more…)

Better Self-Care.

I did something important today towards BETTER SELF-CARE. I went to Quest Diagnostics and did a blood test. My doctor wanted a CBC, of course, but also thyroid, fasting lipids, vitamins B & D, and hepatic function. She has made no secret that she is disgusted with my weight obesity, currently 226 pounds. (I decided to give her one more shot to speak nicely to me or I am going to switch doctors. Of course, I have to say something to her first. Again, I got angry when someone overstepped my boundaries, but I didn’t say anything. But I will. When (more…)