Category: Uncategorized

Recovery Update. 18 April 2017.

Of course, when I made the decision to end my life, I wasn’t concerned about details like that because I understood that I had no control over the vast majority of the universe, and if I were going to kill myself, then other people would be emotionally scarred. That’s a fact. Still I tried to Read More

Today was the best day ever.

I deserve to have an awesome day at least once a week! And that day is always Tuesday, my day off from work. (It maybe should be Shabbat, but that is another story. Sorry, had to express my guilt at feeling JOY.) On Tuesdays, I go see Doctor Li and get Chinese acupuncture needles stuck Read More

Ugh. Journal: 26 Feb 2018.

I really need to move. I live with a bunch of addicts and their behavior is very similar to the narcissists of this world in that they’re super nice when they’re waiting for me to give them rent money but the second I give them the money then they are total bastards to me. It’s Read More

Low Self-Confidence.

I’m having a problem with self-confidence right now. So many things I want to write about, to blog about, and share – but I don’t do it. I don’t do it because I think it’ll be stupid and nobody will want to read it… But the blog is supposed to be for me, for my Read More

Day 3.

It’s been 3 days since David showed up on Facebook after a 4 year absence. I start panicking whenever I think about it and have to take a Xanax. Narcissists get bored easily and he will go dark soon. He won’t stay around too long but it could be two months. Meanwhile I have my Read More

Day 1: He’s back.

Recently I’ve developed this terrible habit, where I go on Facebook as soon as I open my eyes I don’t even pray to God first. The other day I checked my messages and a thread that I had responded to, 2 messages after mine there’s David! 4 years of No Contact and there’s his face Read More

OMG He’s on Facebook Again!

I’ve had No Contact, complete No Contact, for at least 3 years… except for the fact that my brain refuses to let go and move on. I went on one date about 2 years ago. I met a male friend of a friend for dinner in a nice restaurant and I had extreme panic. I Read More

20Dec2017. I love Tuesdays.

I had a really good day yesterday – until I came home at 4pm. But before that, it was great. Every Tuesday I get acupuncture from Doctor Li. He’s from Shanghai, China and married to a blonde-haired, American beauty who was raised on a farm in Wisconsin. Doctor Tammy and her husband run a Chinese-American Read More

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