Recovery Music.

I signed up for Pandora today, only 16 years behind everyone else. Pandora is an app of internet radio stations that have fewer commercials than YouTube, but don’t allow you to make your own music playlists like YouTube does. I chose a musician, Selena Gomez, and then Pandora suggested similar musicians that I might like. Meh. Music used to be so important to me. You know how you can vividly remember a year by the music you were listening to at the time? 1978 = ABBA, The Beatles, KISS 1983 = Madonna, Duran Duran 1990 = The Cure, They Might Be (more…)

“Are twin flames really just empaths and narcissists?”

Now that’s an interesting question… My answer is: no and the proof is in the seduction. The narcissist seeks out empaths, kind-hearted individuals who are sensitive to other people’s emotional pain. The empaths have great difficulty separating their own feelings from the strong impressions created within them by other people’s feelings. The empaths must necessarily lack boundaries in order to use their gift of empathy, being able to feel other people’s feelings. If empaths could block out the outside world, then they wouldn’t feel compelled to help others with their strong emotional needs. Therefore, empaths are somewhat exposed and lacking in (more…)

“Manipulative Love Letters”, excerpt #5. The Other Woman.

Rebekah             I’m sorry I should have been more specific this afternoon when we sorta talked. I can’t or couldn’t (depending on when you read this) see you tonight because I was afraid to! As I said for the past five nights in a row you have treated me like poison for 5 different reasons. I’ve got to take a break from that. I’ve tried to tell you over and over again that I’m right on the “edge”. I need comfort and love and a hell of a lot more understanding than I deserve. You’ve shown me that you can’t do (more…)

Recovery is Being Generous to Yourself.

Yesterday, I wrote that “There is no hypocrisy in recovery.” link As survivors of narcissistic abuse, we have all made pledges that quote “I won’t be fooled again” and “I will never ignore red flags again”, “I learned my lesson”, etcetera. But maybe you will fall off the self-esteem wagon. Maybe you will get lonely and pick up with the first person who offers you a kind word. After all, isn’t that how you got into trouble the last time? I don’t think this is hypocrisy, saying one thing but doing another. I think it’s just a stage in the recovery (more…)

Red Flags that Your Lover is Abusive.

I am re-posting this image because it is a snapshot of my ex-marriage to my ex-abuser. Conversations went like this: ignore me yawn avoid eye contact interrupt mention some mistake I made 3 years ago deny talk thru me or shout over me be dismissive hijack the conversation Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share (more…)

The 2nd anniversary of the day I left Israel to be with the narcissist.

Yesterday I realized that August 28th, 2015 was the 2nd anniversary of the day I left Israel to be with the narcissist. It has been two years since I left Israel. Wow, I can’t believe it. It’s been a terrible time for me, really crappy, but it feels like a rough month – not two years! I remember everything so vividly. I was living in my rental apartment in Safed. I was on the top floor and my bedroom window looked out upon the moon. Every night, I used to lie in bed, window completely ajar, no screens, feel the breeze (more…)

Exploring the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality types.

Source: The Myers & Briggs Foundation website MBTI http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/ Excerpted from the MBTI® Manual: A Guide to the Development and Use of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I). Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N). Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people (more…)