Recovery Update 01 Nov 2016.

I started seeing a therapist, a CP – Clinical Psychologist. I tried very hard to navigate the US health care/insurance industry to choose a {helper} who could assess my depression and write me PRESCRIPTIONS for medicine… but I failed. It turns out PC’s cannot write scripts in Illinois; so we just talk. It’s a start. I spent the last session talking about my brother’s cocaine use and drug addiction. I whined about how (wait, here it comes – Why me?) why can’t I live in a house with no drugs in it? Is that an unreasonable request? To have a drug-free (more…)

Today’s LOL.

WordPress says: “It’s been 25 days since you published I Forgive The Narcissist. ” And it has zero likes! I laughed when I saw that. What’s wrong with you people? I finally turned my corner. Three YEARS it took me to get to a serene place and not one reader hits “Like”!  I get it. You are holding onto the anger because you are waiting for justice.     Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click (more…)

I Forgive The Narcissist.

Yet another old friend person from my past found me via social media and used the reconnect to give me the shpiel: Wow, you’re back from Israel. You’re such a liar / such a hypocrite / such a failure / such a fraud. Admittedly, the second part isn’t spoken out loud – but I still hear it. Random people judge me and express that I let them down. I let everyone down when I left Israel. The thing is that most of the time, they aren’t trying to be mean when they let me know (through body language or words or pity) (more…)

Recovery Music.

I signed up for Pandora today, only 16 years behind everyone else. Pandora is an app of internet radio stations that have fewer commercials than YouTube, but don’t allow you to make your own music playlists like YouTube does. I chose a musician, Selena Gomez, and then Pandora suggested similar musicians that I might like. Meh. Music used to be so important to me. You know how you can vividly remember a year by the music you were listening to at the time? 1978 = ABBA, The Beatles, KISS 1983 = Madonna, Duran Duran 1990 = The Cure, They Might Be (more…)

Update. 03 Aug 2016.

most every day i think about blogging but get too tired at night. i wish i had an i-phone so i could just speak my posts. but really, it’s to play POKEMON GO! my phone gets so hot that i have to remove the case and set it down on a cold surface. waah. i only have 6 pokemon. it’s been 5 weeks since i developed SHINGLES. they are still showing on my tummy. if i get over tired, they tingle – but they are not hurting me. BH. they won’t go away, but they don’t hurt. they’re just sitting there, (more…)


I have had a really good week. Good in the sense that I got shit done. I went to Urgent Care as soon as my health insurance was activated. I got in as soon as they unlocked the doors on the first day. Some muckity-muck super-famous doctor who has his own radio show just happened to be in the clinic that morning. He saw my impressive shingles rash (’cause I never do anything second best; gotta be that overachiever…), and he gave me 10 days of some mega anti-viral drug. It helped with the nerve pain straight away and then the (more…)

The 90 Days.

In the USA, when a person changes jobs, they end up being unable to see a doctor for 90 days. Sure, there’s COBRA, but I never once met a person who was able to afford it. I changed jobs and my insurance FINALLY begins in 3 days. Woo hoo. I’ve been sick for almost 2 months. Beside the depression, I’ve had a goiter (thyroid). I’m so tired all the time. I sleep really well, but it doesn’t last. Well, bad news on bad news… my brother is losing his job in 90 days because his company got sold. His depression, anxiety, (more…)