In the USA, when a person changes jobs, they end up being unable to see a doctor for 90 days. Sure, there’s COBRA, but I never once met a person who was able to afford it. I changed jobs and my insurance FINALLY begins in 3 days. Woo hoo. I’ve been sick for almost 2 months. Beside the depression, I’ve had a goiter (thyroid). I’m so tired all the time. I sleep really well, but it doesn’t last. Well, bad news on bad news… my brother is losing his job in 90 days because his company got sold. His depression, anxiety, paranoia, and PTSD were always at least 10x worse than mine. Imagine him now. He’s a wreck. His coping mechanism is to work twice as hard because maybe then it won’t happen, and he bursts into tears a lot. Even worse, my brother pays the lion’s share of the mortgage. We may lose the house. It looks bad.
As usual, I had a beautiful and reassuring prophetic dream that everything would work out for us and I was able to use that confidence to give my brother some hope.
But now I have shingles.
Shingles is an illness caused by stress. On the surface, it’s just a rash over a large area of my torso; but beneath the surface, shingles is a nerve disease that is causing me acute and constant pain.
And the deep, dark secret? I feel ashamed. I think that my central nervous system is attacking me because I am weak. I should not have been vulnerable. The most interesting fact about shingles is that it can be treated with antidepressants. That’s the path I should have been on all along, only now I have acute and chronic pain. I see a doctor in about 36 hours.