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Let’s look back at how I was feeling: 13July2015. I haven’t been writing this week because I’ve been in a deep, dark funk. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to stop existing. This is not the same as having suicidal thoughts, although I would step over a cliff if I could do it without being seen; but not anything active (versus passive). I was thinking more along the lines of seeing a giant whirlpool open up in the carpet and suck me into non-existence just like some cheesy special effect in a Dr. Who episode. The carpet absorbs me.