Is it Fun or is it Self-Destructive?


Today was payday. (Yeah!!!) Last payday, I gave $800 to my doctors, split 3 ways, so by the end of week one, I didn’t even have lunch money! That was oppressive. It is not a good feeling when the cash runs out. Right? I started feeling trapped on the hamster wheel and that maybe my daily job was pointless. I almost quit. But today was payday (:
I went to the mall and spent an allowance on crap I didn’t need, like every other money-hungry, materialistic American. I bought a paper-thin t-shirt for 20 bucks, a StarWars lunchbox, skull earrings, and a Disney keychain for $6.50. It was totally irresponsible. I also used my last $50 gift certificate from Xmas to eat a decadent lunch at RedLobster (salmon only, no lobster). I drank an overpriced coffee and ate a pastry that was 95% sugar, and I took a brief walk in the sunshine.

I know that sugar and coffee and pricey trinkets are pleasures that dissipate quickly, but I wanted to treat myself and to feel like I am nowhere near living on the edge of homelessness and poverty. It’s a challenge because every American is 2 paychecks away from severe financial crisis, but do I have to feel the weight of it all the time? Can’t I just pretend for one day that I have enough money for everything?