Clutter & Decluttering.

Well, snowfall is predicted for tomorrow nite here in Chicagoland. I haven’t driven a car in snow in 10 years and I wasn’t good at it then, so I’m not happy. I especially loathe chipping ice off my windshield before I can drive to work in the mornings. My sweet brother said I could park in the garage, but I have to make a space for the car; so I hauled a waist-high cardboard box into the kitchen today and unpacked it. The newspaper inside was dated “Thursday, April 13, 2000”. That means it was a box from before I got (more…)

I had an Epiphany about the Narcissist.

I’ve been working on creating an audiobook about the Jewish daily prayers. I was doing a segment explaining what a brit is (a covenant) and I had an epiphany about the narcissist. Basically, I was explaining how I loved the narcissist unconditionally. I compared my love for David to the way God feels about us, which is to say that no matter what I do, God will never abandon me. He is right by my side, even when I behave like a rotten stinker. In a thunderclap moment, I realized that something was wrong with what I was saying. I stopped to (more…)

Better Self-Care.

I did something important today towards BETTER SELF-CARE. I went to Quest Diagnostics and did a blood test. My doctor wanted a CBC, of course, but also thyroid, fasting lipids, vitamins B & D, and hepatic function. She has made no secret that she is disgusted with my weight obesity, currently 226 pounds. (I decided to give her one more shot to speak nicely to me or I am going to switch doctors. Of course, I have to say something to her first. Again, I got angry when someone overstepped my boundaries, but I didn’t say anything. But I will. When (more…)

Frustrated with Recovery.

Aargh! I’m supposed to be writing about Recovery (from narcissistic abuse), but I don’t know what to say. It’s been 2 whole years since I slit my wrists… and died. I’m happy to say that I feel like My Old Self again, which is like moving all the game pieces back to the “Start Here” spot – but… and this is a big BUT… I’m still not even close to being recovered. Great, I got my old self back, but she’s the one who went for the narcissist like he was made of chocolate! I have been working hard to get (more…)

Psychotherapy by Internet?

full article What is CBT? Cognitive behavioral therapy (or CBT as it is commonly known) is a form of psychotherapy which is based on Beck’s Negative Cognitive Triad, the researchers explain. People who are depressed have developed negative views of themselves, the world, and their future, according to Dr. Aaron Beck, the “father of CBT.” Naturally, these three beliefs — believing you are incompetent/unworthy, believing the world is a hostile place, and believing the future will be emotionally painful — reinforce and compound one another. Commonly, depressed people also make certain assumptions which make them even more vulnerable to depression, such as (more…)

Recovery Journal. 01Nov2015. – Leadership.

  Yesterday I was so proud of myself. It was a busy Sunday at the appliance store where I work. The Store Manager had taken the day off for a family party so she had warned me (rather ominously) that quote “We need to have a strong start for the week and for the month.” She expected me to sell, sell, sell… and specific products in particular. She threw down the gauntlet and expected me to produce revenue. I would complain that that attitude is really unfair because I have no control over what our crazy customers do with their money, (more…)