I have been taking some abuse lately about exposing the “sins” of others. Some people, no, many people think that it is wrong to speak about past abuse or to expose the names of abusers or to “dwell on” bad things that are supposedly in the past. Among Jewish people, there is even a mis-used and often twisted idea of lashon hora, which means that gossiping about a person’s bad deeds serves no purpose except to make the tattletale feel extra special or extra righteous. In Jewish circles, it is forbidden to talk of someone’s sins even if they are true.
But not so in the case of a predator. Not so in the case of a narcissist.
Narcissists do not “get better”. They don’t heal. They don’t “wise up”. They don’t see the light and become decent human beings.
Whatever way you want to phrase it, they do not morph into people who love.
They are cold and dead inside. They hate ordinary people (who they see as weak and flawed).
They actively seek out targets to use and abuse; and when they are done, they will destroy that person.
Why? Because they are fucking narcissists. It’s what they do. And they need to be stopped.
That’s why I blog. That’s not the only reason, but I do hope (and pray) that some other poor person – who did nothing but love too much – that poor, sad target will read my blog, wake up to the fact that they have been dating a narcissist, and get out as fast as they can.
I see that while I am helping myself by writing about my pain and recovery, I am also helping others with their recovery. We help each other and it’s good.
Here is another blogger who has the courage to speak out about narcissists. I am sending her the You Comfort Me Award.
Awesome post by sociopathlife.com: Precious Pain. http://sociopathlife.com/2015/07/06/precious-pain/
Comment I made:
Beautiful post, Tela. For me, one of the extra special hurts of getting out alive was that nobody on the outside understood me or what I needed. I felt so alone – because I was alone. The best sympathy I ever got was “Move on already.” That doesn’t even begin to understand what happened to me or what the narcissist did to me. There truly was no-one to comfort me or to help me nurse my wounds – until I found you guys online. The survivors who speak out are the ones who save other people’s lives. Thank you for all you do. xoxo
You Comfort Me Award.
1. List your top 4 favorite comforts. As in: “When I am upset, I…” what?
2. Nominate 4 blogs.
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