These happen to be from an alcoholic drug addict, but narcissists and abusers use the same tactics. For example, he projects that I will think he is out with another woman because he was actually out with another woman! However, I had no clue and I wasn’t worried because I trusted him. Next, I got dressed up for a party that we went to together and he got jealous! He tried to make me feel bad for looking too pretty. Manipulative. In the next letter, I am so stupid that I actually believe he is all better and a changed man. Ever hear that one from your narcissist?
“It was all your fault that I cheated but I forgive you. I’m a changed man now.”
He also pretends that the abuses and manipulations never happened. He expects that I should forget what he did to me just because he wants me to. It doesn’t matter if I needed time to grieve or to sort out my feelings. He thinks that he can speak the words “I’m sorry” and it is all fixed. I was being so unreasonable to want to talk about it!
…and the Lovebombing… He tells me how beautiful, unique, and magnificent I am… how he can’t live without me… how his life was meaningless before I came into it… omg, who wouldn’t respond to such adoration and ego-stroking? It’s too much. Of course I wanted to believe that he would change.
Don’t get the wrong Idea that just because I’m not with you I’m with someone else! I’m not! If I’m not at home tonight I’m either driving around getting totally wasted or I may go by Jack’s (the only friend I have you will listen without judging me and lecturing me! Please tell me (in a letter) how or what your feeling!
Hey and really why can’t you ever dress like that for me? You said because I never take you out! Give me a break! I do, but even if I didn’t, you were magnificent looking for what? Class? Maybe I should wake up and see just how little I mean to you! I’ve seen you decked out like that 3 times and never once was for me! Should I get the message? I’m trying to send you one! Show me how you feel, make me feel special instead of afraid or like a low life. Can You. I’ll come by some time after 8. If you want to see me oK If not please let me Know in a note. or just leave nothing and don’t be here or answer your phone. That will let me know.
Please Don’t Screw My
Head up any more Please
My Last Desperate Effort?
30 Oct 1987: a letter written by me on the back of a pizza menu.
You are absolutely right, Hayden. I need to tell you what I think. You deserve to be treated better. The time has come for you to stop juggling two women. I was with you when you went off drugs, when you got your cast off, while you fought with your mom, when you lost your job, and while you detoxed from alcohol.
I’m going out tonight, and I’m going to find a date, you son of a bitch.
Take Cindy to Tom’s.
01 Nov 1987.
The very best times of my life were the times I had with you! And I fucked it up. I’ve lost you I’ve lost the most important person I’ve ever Known. I’ve lost my life, my hopes, my dreams, my only reason to fight for. I already feel dead. I Keep remembering the night we sat in that weird blue car in Fay’s driveway. The first time I told you that I loved you. You were trembling and you told me it didn’t make any sense. Well it made quite a bit of sense to me. I was in the process of fallin head over heals in love with you. God, I’ve been on cloud nine ever since. You finally after a lot of asking told me how you felt about me. I almost wet myself! That was the happiest day of my life. We’ve been through a lot of shit together, a hell of a lot. But my love for you hasn’t faded, its gone sky high. I’ll die for you. You’re a part of me! The very most important part of me. Don’t hate me, please! I have to give this everything I’ve got because you mean so much. I’m offering you my life , the world. Its all I’ve got please take it! Please. You won’t regret it! You won’t be sorry! I swear to You!
I Need You So Badly!
04 Nov 1987. (in my newspaper)
Good morning Beautiful
Have a nice day
I Love You
I can’t figure it out! I’m even more hurt and confused! You made no attempt at all to show or say you care. I catch hell at home most all the time. You used to be such a welcome relief from that. I couldn’t wait to get away from home to see you. I’m almost scared to see you now. I’m trying so hard. I was so excited today I waited and waited and rushed home from the newspaper to see you. Not only did I not get so much as a tiny little kiss, I didn’t even get a hug or a friendly hello. If you are tired of me or want me to go away say so. But please stop hurting. Please. If you care show it. I’m hurt I really am.
I didn’t Know. I’ve no recollection of doing what Blair told me I did. I see now why you couldn’t tell me. Thank you, I couldn’t have held together had I heard it from you. I’m so ashamed. I wanted to dround my problems not create more. I understand why you hate me so much now. I didn’t understand before. I do now I’m so sorry. I really won’t bother you anymore. You are so
Stay tuned for the book release in August 2015. “Love Letters from an Alcoholic Addict”
“Manipulative Love Letters.” is copyright © 2015 by Poorkitteh. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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