I tried to sabotage the date. Usually when I have to drive somewhere that I’ve never been before, I leave a half hour early so I have time to get lost – because I will get lost. But I was depressed and started thinking that maybe if I were late, he would just go away. So instead of leaving 30 minutes early, I left 15 minutes late for my one-hour drive to the kosher restaurant. But it gets worse. When I was about 1 mile from the place, I decided that I was driving in the wrong direction, turned around, and went 30 miles in truly the wrong direction – and then I really did get lost. I felt terrible. *Jay sat alone at the restaurant for over an hour before I showed up. I was then even more depressed because I knew I had sabotaged myself. It wasn’t an accident.
Jay was waiting in the parking lot for me. I walked toward him and watched his body language. He was very easy for me to read. I saw his whole frame relax in relief, not “Phew, she’s safe” – No. It was “Phew, she’s attractive.” I knew right then that the date would be good.
He ordered a salad with salmon on top, so I asked for the same. For our ice-breaker, I apologized and told him that at least I now know that he doesn’t have a temper, because he surprisingly wasn’t upset at all that I was over an hour late – which was disrespectful of me. He thought about it and replied that he does have a temper sometimes, but I said that I didn’t believe him anymore. It was funny. We hardly got to eat any of our yummy salads because we were talking. He elected to tell me about his ex-wife, so I followed suit and we got the exes out of the way. Next he wanted to tell me about his recent ex-girlfriend. I didn’t really want to hear it, but I listened. I opted not to mention the relationship with narcissist-David at all. For two glorious hours, I pretended that it never happened.
Jay asked me what I am looking for. He didn’t specify the word “marriage”, but that is what I thought we were talking about. I replied that I have low expectations for the man I share my life with. I want him to have a job and to learn Torah. Having work is not an issue in American society, but it certainly is in Israel. Observant men want to study Torah all day instead of working, but I don’t approve. Our great Tzaddikim had jobs while they learned. Even the author of the Zohar had a business: he was a spice merchant in Tzfat. Since holding down a job wasn’t an issue, I moved on to point #2.
I said, “I would like to be in love. I want to be in deep, real love with the man I share my life with. That’s not very practical, but I’m a romantic and that’s what I want.” He seemed to like that answer.
He asked me what I like to do for fun and I got excited and animated to talk about my writing (without mentioning this blog), the writers’ groups I have joined, the Torah books I have read, and that I hunger to learn. He said, “So, reading and writing? Those are things you do alone.” to which I added miniature golf, movies, and festivals with live music. I didn’t realize at the time, but the reason I have “alone-interests” is because I have been alone. Hello! I would love to go bowling or rollerskating, but who am I going to do it with? Ain’t nobody there yet.
We talked for about an hour and a half and then the waitress told us that she had to close the section and she turned on the vacuum cleaner! We were ejected. I went to the ladies room to allow him to pay for the check discretely. When we got kicked out of the restaurant, Jay was right in the middle of getting a stressful story off his chest, so we went next door to Starbuck’s and got a coffee. I offered to pay for the coffees and he accepted. I was hoping he wouldn’t! We sat for another 20 minutes and then Starbuck’s closed, too! I laughed as I told him that I felt like I was 20 years old again, making last call and closing down the joint – only it was a coffee shop and not a nightclub. It was funny.
We both enjoyed meeting each other. He said I was easy to talk to, which I am. However, there was one bad thing. He is a Gemini. I never date Geminis. You see, Scorpios (me) are so intense in our one-track mind (single focus) that we are like rockets that move in one direction; but Geminis, Pisces, and Aquarius are of two minds. They waver; they are wishy-washy; they don’t know what they want; they do not choose a course of action and stick with it. Scorpios can’t stand that. It pisses us off. Hence, I just avoid them. A typical Gemini-Scorpio discussion would go like this:
Scorpio: Pick one! Just pick one!
Gemini: Well… they both have their strong points. I like them both and either one would be good…
Scorpio: It’s not Sophie’s Choice, damn it. It’s just a (__blank__).
Gemini: Okay, this one. (Thinking: maybe I made the wrong decision?)
Scorpio: Aargh! You irritate me to no end.
Did any of this actually happen during our date? No. In fact, Jay was excellent at making decisions, so I may be completely mistaken about his core nature. Plus, he is attractive and sweet, and his life is drama-free. I am sure we will be seeing each other again.
“My First Date Since Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth.” is copyright © 2015 by Poorkitteh. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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