I feel like I still have a lot of old wounds to let go of. I hope that writing some of them down will help me to release the emotional distress from each incident and I hope that my experiences will help other people to talk about their incidents of abuse. Please share your examples in the comment section or link to a listing on your blog.
• My NPD husband used to scold me that I couldn’t balance a checkbook. He treated me like a little child. In reality, I graduated summa cum laude from university. Twice.
• My NPD boyfriend had sex with other women behind my back. He told me that sex with me was so good that I made him want more; so it was my fault for being too good in bed. (which I am)
• My NPD roommate used to tell me that I could be pretty if I put more effort into getting dressed nicely.
• I wanted to remove money from our savings to pay off our debt completely. It made obvious sense to me since the savings was earning 3% interest while the debt was at 19%. But I needed my husband’s signature. He refused on the grounds that he was in charge.
• My NPD roommate wanted me to give her grocery money and pay her to cook so that she could have an income. I was abusing her by refusing to pay her to cook for me. Mind you, I was looking for work myself and had never agreed to hire her as my personal chef!
• After I filed for divorce, Driftwood waited until the day before the hearing to decide to hire his own attorney. At which point, the judge had to delay the divorce so the two attorneys could meet.
• He asked for 3 continuances – just because he could. He delayed signing our settlement agreement for an extra 10 months, until finally he signed for the original amount. He could have signed on day one and achieved the same result. But he didn’t. He used the court system to punish me by making me wait for the money.
• My NPD boyfriend called the police to have me arrested. They didn’t, but it was embarrassing.
• He also called the immigration authorities to have me deported. They didn’t, but it was also embarrassing.
• My NPD husband used to kick the doors and punch the walls when we argued. His outbursts gave me anxiety attacks.
• David pressed his hands around my throat to teach me a lesson.
• He also tried to keep me awake for several days.
• Withholding physical affection, even hugs.
• Being creepy.
• Trying to convince me that sex is sinful.
• Public humiliation via social media.
• My NPD husband attended a university function and told my classmates that he was sure I would quit before graduation because I “never finish anything”.
• Starting an argument in a public place, like a restaurant. It’s so embarrassing.
• Having the same argument over and over, as if every time were the first time. Didn’t we settle that already?
• Accusing me of stealing, of infidelity, of lying, of hiding assets, and of random plotting.
• Encouraging me to accept blame for things that were never in my control, like being late because of a storm or a traffic jam.
And the most painful abuse of all: The Silent Treatment, the highest level of emotional abuse because it isolates an already lonely person. It’s solitary confinement under the guise of marriage and it hurts like hell.
“Some Examples of Narcissistic Abuse Taken From My Life.” is copyright © 2015 by 18mitzvot. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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