Since I moved in with my brother 22 days ago, I have begun to return to the best version of myself. This is happening for one reason and that is because he loves me. (As an extra, he doesn’t criticize me either.) In this loving environment, I immediately started to blossom and flourish. The best version of myself is the Rivka who is always working on a creative project… or two or three.
Formerly, when I was under the guidance of my husband, Driftwood (or the evil influence of a narcissist), I would start a project like tiling the kitchen backsplash; then he would feel threatened by my creativity and increasing self-confidence; so he would sabotage me. He would absolutely convince me to give up. He tried very hard to brainwash me into believing that I could never succeed at any creative project and he often told me that it would be better if I quit trying to change things in our home and to beautify our surroundings. Because of his influence, I would reluctantly give up and leave my project half-finished. Still, the real Rivka could not be subdued. Soon I would start another creative project and he would have to get me to give up again. In this cycle of trying to create and giving up, trying to create and giving up, I tore up the house and finished only a few projects. I still carry a feeling of shame that maybe I am someone who doesn’t finish things. Therefore, I have been conditioning myself to finish my creative projects within a timelimit and to take pride in their completion. I have been brainwashing myself, if you will.
In the 22 days since I moved in with my brother, I have completed the following projects:
Completing these projects made me feel energized and hungry to do more and to create more.
I want to write.
I want to scrapbook.
I want to decorate my space with beautiful things that remind me of good times and make me feel happy.
I want to live in color.
I want to create.
All this good is because I live in a loving home. The emotional importance of feeling loved and being treated kindly at home cannot be ignored or dismissed if you hope to recover from trauma. I am so happy my brother took me in. I am grateful to be me again.
“How Important Is A Loving Home To Recovery From Trauma?” is copyright © 2015 by Poorkitteh. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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