Evil came into our relationship.

Saturday afternoon at the Shabbes table, a man told the following lesson from Torah: Before God created the world, He created two forces: the force that gives and the force that receives. After a while, the force that receives said, “I’m full. I do not want to receive anymore.” The force that gives wanted to continue giving and it became frustrated. And that is how evil came into the world. Immediately, I thought “That is the spiritual blueprint for my relationship with David. Wow, just wow.” I am the force that gives and when he chose to freeze me out, I became frustrated (more…)

Reblog: HELPING THE HUNGRY GHOST

Remember, dear readers, you cannot fix a narcissist – but people with illnesses will respond to kindness. Let me change that. Everyone will respond to kindness. When I could remember that the narcissist was sick, I was able to remain detached and not become embroiled in his drama. Unfortunately, I could not maintain a healthy headspace and I fell into insanity with him. But it doesn’t have to be that way. So that’s No Contact for narcissists and following this writer’s advice for other troubled people. Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (more…)

Photographic Burdens.

Moving Day is in five days. I was packing up the closet when I came across the photos of my ex-wedding. My mom had thought I would want them, so she gave them to me, and I promptly stashed them away. I wish she hadn’t given them to me. I could throw them in the garbage and pretend she never did. The thing is, I took my own wedding photos. I used a tripod that I had bought at K-Mart for $26 and my fully-manual SLR 35mm camera that used actual film (on a timer). I remember I told my ex-husband that I planned (more…)

Suicide & Entitlement.

c2.staticflickr.com/8/7155/6517334443_995165e6d1_z.jpg I realize that I have been acting bratty. I want stuff, but I haven’t worked for it. I want life to be easier, but that is childish wishing. I have been acting entitled… and I know it. Here’s my reasoning: I am supposed to be dead. It’s not fair that I have to stay here for another 30 years! My inner child is pissed. It’s like showing me a secret garden and then locking the gate right in front of me. “It’ll be here when you’re older.” I don’t want it when I’m older; I want it now! Gimme the (more…)

Narcissists and the Shame Agenda

Shame has been on my mind lately, specifically wondering why or where does it come from? Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Like this:Like Loading... (more…)

Confession is Supposed to Help Me????

I spent the weekend with a dear friend who I knew before I went to Israel. She keeps a kosher Jewish home and it is always a special treat for me to get to spend Friday night at her place because it restores my soul in ways that are Kabalistic and would take me a very long time to explain. I can say that the next six days go well for me. I showed up one hour before candlelighting, put my bags in the house, and then it was Shabbat. For Friday night dinner, she served me a home-cooked meal in (more…)

Whose arse do I have to kiss to get a blogging award?

My Trophy Case. 2015. Please share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)Click to share on Google+ (Opens in new window)Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Like this:Like Loading... (more…)