I’m not one to play video games, mostly because I cannot handle the coordination requirements of left hand does this and right hand does something completely different. A-B-jump-jump-strike is out of my league. I can’t do it. But I did get into this fashion/romance video game in 2013. The game is called “StarGirl” and I played it on my Toshiba Thrive tablet. The object of the game is to complete jobs as an actress, model or singer; collect the money; and then buy extremely slutty outfits. These clothes are NOT for children, and yet, the game is probably for girls ages 7 to 10. After you buy the slutty clothes, then you can go to the
Starbucks StarCafe or the StarBar discotheque and flirt with boys. You flirt by buying the boys beers or giving them kisses. After you have plied them with alcohol and kisses, you get a text message saying “Romeo is now your boyfriend.” Here is where the real rewards come into play. Each boyfriend gives you 3 presents and you have to wait for 12 to 24 hours between presents to collect them. The standard gifts for your companionship are: an outrageous new hat, 6000 coins, and a new outfit! OMG, a new outfit! Often, the outfits are costumes, like a superhero cape or a stewardess uniform – and you get a matching hat! Awesome! Did I mention that these outfits are shockingly slutty and not for little girls. Game is made in Japan, by the way, a country infamous for its’ sleaze. A friend told me that they have vending machines that dispense bloody panties from a woman’s menstruation. Now there’s a job I could make money at, but I digress.
Here is a photo of my character on a romantic date with IronMan. I am sure he took her someplace exotic and was a perfect gentleman. He always is.
The curious thing about this nasty game is that it kept me alive after the narcissist discarded me. I played it for hours at a time, drugging myself into numbness with the dopamine that comes from the visual stimulation and repetitive movements of video games. Needless to say, I acquired much wealth and purchased many outfits. Today, I am on level 110 of the game and I have 42 ex-boyfriends who each gave me 3 gifts. [If only real life worked so smoothly, with each party understanding the rules of the game. You want to date me? Then I expect to be treated like a queen. However, I will discard you quickly so that I can score 3 more gifts from the next guy. Wait a minute… is my character a cybernarcissist? Oooh, pretty dress. I am so distracted by that lacy neckline. I want it.]
Anyhow, after many months of not playing StarGirl because I made a $20 in game purchase of virtual clothing and the game ate my money without a refund (just like an old-fashioned, quarter-fed, pinball machine). I turned it on last night and found that I had 5 unanswered text messages from the Romeo who is currently seeking my attentions. This guy is a cultural idiosyncracy that I do not recognize. He is a Chinese or Korean television star who plays an alien in love with an Earth woman, I guess.
Doo Min Jung wrote to me: I wish I’d done everything on earth with you.
To which my computer-generated response was: Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life.
Jung: It’s my favorite time of the day, seeing you.
Me: It’s the saddest part of my day, leaving you.
Jung: I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn’t stand losing.
Me: But it’s too late for that.
Jung: I don’t want to eat alone anymore after I’ve met you.
Me: Nice! I want some fried chicken and beer.
…Wait… what? LOL
The game has truthfully captured my real-life character. How did they do that? I know how. It’s an extremely exaggerated version of a woman in love who chooses to ignore red flags and prefers to believe that love will conquer all. Welcome to the next generation of subjugation propaganda for girls ages 7 to 10. Let’s get ’em trained young so they will put up less of a fight when they are grown.
Counter-argument: But the clothes are so pretty!
Even so, the computer-generated neediness of my female character hits too close to home. I feel found-out… and by a video game. How did they know?
“StarGirl Fantasy Lover.” is copyright © 2015 by 18mitzvot. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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