I’m surprised how many times each and every day I think about the narcissist and wonder what he is doing. David’s been gone for a full calendar year, yet I still have emotional ties to him. I wonder if that’s only Trauma Bonding? It doesn’t make sense, you see. It doesn’t make sense to feel an emotional connection to a person who does not experience emotions. Believe you me, he is not sitting around pining for the woman he lost. Remember that once the narcissist discards you, you are dead to him. If David remembers me at all, it is with a shudder of how I tried to isolate and destroy him. That’s Projection, of course. David actively sought to isolate and destroy me (kill me), therefore, he projects that everybody is trying to kill him. Let’s just say he has a healthy dose of psychotic paranoia. Really, I don’t even want that crazy lunatic in my life anymore, with all his drama and his baggage… so why am I still thinking about him every day?
I decided that if I want to truly move on, I have to put forth some kind of effort. So when I received a link to internet dating for Jewish singles, I thought I would check it out. I wanted to look at the eligible bachelors, but in order to do that, I had to make a profile and upload a photo of myself. Ugg.
I enjoyed the very short questionnaire.
That is the full extent of Jewish dating, the top issues where two people need to be in complete agreement before they get emotionally involved. Oh yeah, there was one other question. Are you seeking: marriage, marriage & family, a relationship, dating, friendship or an activity partner? I chose two: marriage and a relationship, but not marriage & family since I cannot have children. So I put myself on the circuit just like Jessica 7 in “Logan’s Run”. I am listed on a Jewish singles website as “seeking marriage”.
The last step in being able to look at other people’s profiles, was to upload a photo of myself. I took my tablet outside in the Florida sun to get a photograph of my pretty hair wafting in the breeze with palm trees in the background. It seemed like a good plan. Well, I had to take at least 15 photos before I got one where I didn’t look completely miserable. They say the camera doesn’t lie and I looked… deeply unhappy. Finally, I got one where I don’t look like I just got beat with a stick, but I’m certainly not smiling and I don’t look cheerful. Oh well. I don’t want anyone to contact me anyway; I just wanted the chance to look at their profiles and see who’s out there.
Is it always going to be this hard?
Miserable: feeling very unhappy
Synonyms: bad, blue, brokenhearted, cast down, crestfallen, dejected, depressed, despondent, disconsolate, doleful, down, downcast, downhearted, down in the mouth, droopy, forlorn, gloomy, glum, hangdog, heartbroken, heartsick, heartsore, heavyhearted, inconsolable, joyless, low, low-spirited, melancholic, melancholy, miserable, mournful, saddened, sorrowful, sorry, unhappy, woebegone, woeful, wretched
Now what eligible bachelor wouldn’t want to date that?!
“Ugg. Making a Dating Profile.” is copyright © 2015 by 18mitzvot. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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