Things Go Downhill Quickly.

Sad, sad cupcake. By mumblyjoe.deviantart.com It amazes me how quickly some people can turn from friendly and loving to I don’t know you. You mean nothing to me. Go away. They change so fast that I think it must be pre-planned. It seems like they were waiting for a signal and finally they can get what they wanted from the beginning. . My parents took me in so I could get back on my feet. It sounds caring, right? Well, not if they tell me to leave too soon. Then it’s as if I wasted my time because I have to (more…)

Journal entry. 25 Feb 2015. Anxiety.

I worked myself into a frenzy over this afternoon’s blog post about my mom. My neck was hurting me from tension and I worried that it might spasm, so I took one-half of a muscle relaxer. I didn’t take more because I was about to start my work shift and I worried that I might feel drowsy. I showed up for work and immediately began to feel nauseous and to see halos. A migraine was coming. Shit. I didn’t have any migraine medicine with me. I told myself that if I calmed down, maybe the muscle relaxer would kick in and (more…)

I am moving for the 7th time in 11 months. Gamzu l’tovah.

Where am I going? (This post is about my relationship with my mother, about being angry at my parents, and about what comes next for me.) My “loving” parents have given me shelter for 14 weeks and are eager to kick me out. And just as I was up for a promotion at work… So I am being sent to my brother who lives in Illinois. I have two things going on in my brain. 1. Anger: I realize that I came here so I could be in my parents’ face 24/7. I was having a little girl’s temper tantrum because my mother (more…)

The Language of Recovery after a Narcissist’s Attack.

Stage 1: I miss David. I love David. We were meant to be together forever. . Stage 2: I feel so connected to my narcissist, but I am beginning to realize that he has a pattern of abuse. . Stage 3: The narcissist was faking the whole time. He never loved me. . Stage 4: A narcissist is incapable of forming attachments. They do not experience love. . Stage 5: I will learn to spot red flags and to heed my instincts. . “The Language of Recovery after a Narcissist’s Attack.” is copyright © 2015 by 18mitzvot. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please (more…)

StarGirl Fantasy Lover.

I’m not one to play video games, mostly because I cannot handle the coordination requirements of left hand does this and right hand does something completely different. A-B-jump-jump-strike is out of my league. I can’t do it. But I did get into this fashion/romance video game in 2013. The game is called “StarGirl” and I played it on my Toshiba Thrive tablet. The object of the game is to complete jobs as an actress, model or singer; collect the money; and then buy extremely slutty outfits. These clothes are NOT for children, and yet, the game is probably for girls ages (more…)

1000 Voices for Compassion. #1000Speak

“Where the Wild Things Are” by Maurice Sendak 20 Feb 2015. Today’s community goal is to get 1000 bloggers to post about compassion, kindness, and caring for others. As the Facebook page says, let’s “flood the blogosphere with GOOD!” Well, this blog is about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, its’ aftermath, and the long journey to recovery. Therefore, I have decided to write about showing kindness to the narcissist. That’s right. Showing kindness to the narcissist. …and having compassion for his or her suffering. But first, let’s simplify the deficiencies of the English language and go with: show kindness to the narcissist for its’ (more…)

Taking Revenge Against a Narcissist.

Last week, I posted a very brief paragraph about wishing to take revenge against the narcissist. I wrote that I wanted him to have city-wide humiliation and that everyone in Toronto would talk about how stupid he is. But it was a fantasy, a daydream. In reality, I most certainly had the opportunity and the motive to take revenge. My plan was to print up 500 bumper stickers that read: David So-and-so murders women. I would slap those stickers in every public restroom in Toronto. I chose this particular revenge because his last words to me were about how he was (more…)