While I would like to join an open-24-hours fitness club and exercise with a circuit of machines, I doubt I would follow through. The time it takes to get my gym stuff together, drive to the gym, work-out, shower and … yeah, I can’t even finish writing the sentence before I get bored. Never mind trying to actually do it. So if you were wondering how I got fat, now you now. I am extremely lazy (and undisciplined).
Sadly, being fat makes it hard to get moving. If I were thinner, I would have more energy to get off my seat; but if I had more energy to get off my seat, I would be thinner. It is definitely a Catch-22. (Poor me. Sob story. Sob story.)
My dad has this $3,000 exercise bike gathering dust in the garage. Don’t we all, actually? My basement had a gorgeous and effective NordicTrack ski machine gathering dust in it. My grandparent’s basement had an ancient stationary bicycle gathering dust in it. My brother’s garage has free weights gathering dust in it. Hoarding exercise equipment that sits and gathers dust is a Family Tradition. And so is being obese.
Here is the dusty bike:
Here is the reason it cost $3,000:
The exercise bike is a freaking computer.
I tested all the buttons and the pre-programmed exercise routines as the bike tried to make me pedal up virtual hills. Each time, I was unable to push the pedals forward and the bike came to a crashing halt, the virtual equivalent of losing control of your bike and running into a tree. Finally, I worked my way down to Fitness Level 1, which I am guessing is for 90-year old ladies who fell down and couldn’t get up, so now their doctor is making them ride an exercise bike. If you are a 90-year old granny, please don’t kick my ass (which I’m sure you could do). I am just feeling a little bit crotchety because of the exercise.
The good news is that in less time than it would take me to get from the couch to the gym, I had already pedaled 20 minutes of garage time.