When I used to read posts by survivors of narcissistic abuse, I thought:
These women seem so calm and free from drama.
They must not have loved their man as much as I love mine.
It’s true. I doubted the sincerity and/or depth of their love because I could see that they had recovered from the Discard. I believed that if they really loved the narcissist, they would never get over him or the loss of him.
(Hey, I get it that it’s not a nice thing what I am saying, but I try to be brutally honest when I write. That is what I thought when I first started reading other people’s blogs.)
Here’s what I didn’t understand:
The drama, the crazy-making, the gas-lighting, the love-bombing, the emotional tug-o-war, the suicide attempts, the angry text messages, the vile Facebook posts, the police knocking on my door… all of that chaos belongs to the narcissist – and when he went away, the chaos left with him.
Serenity: the quality or state of being calm, peaceful, and free from storms.
After the final Discard, I had to break through the chemical addiction to him. I had physical withdrawal symptoms and grief, but they became less and less intense as the months passed. Until one day, (today, actually) I felt serene (:
. Serenity: the quality or state of being calm, peaceful, and free from storms.