I’m not sure where to go with this blog. Readers want me to continue writing about narcissists, but I don’t need it. I wrote 300 posts about their evil abuse. Why beat a dead horse?
I understand that my sweet David is never coming back, and the reason is that he never existed. He played that part as a temporary act during the Idealization Phase. I hold no fantasies that he could ever morph into a loving spouse (life-partner). He just can’t do it. He can’t be loyal. He can’t be committed to making a relationship work – and the reason for that is because narcissists are dead inside. They don’t feel the joy that other people feel when they connect with another human being in a healthy and loving marriage (union). Marriage has no pay-off for a narcissist because they don’t bond. To the average person, it is incomprehensible. We make assumptions that in order to survive, human beings must: a) breathe, b) consume food, and c) bond with other people. Virtually any psychological needs assessment will include some measurement of a person’s need to belong to a community, to belong to a family or to socialize with peers. We are social creatures who enjoy bonding with others – but not the narcissists of the world. They do not have the need to bond because they are preventing by their limited capacity for emotion. The narcissists are able to experience: 1) anger, 2) jealousy, 3) bitterness, 4) frustration, 5) disgust, and 6) boredom. Also they like the thrilling adrenaline rush that comes from behaviors such as lying, shoplifting, breaking the law, and extreme sports. Marriage doesn’t offer them any emotional fulfillment.
If I am over the narcissist, why keep writing about the past?
I have several ideas splashing around in my cranium about a new direction for this blog.
Twin Flames and Zivugim –what’s the deal?
A month of new Torah – to jump start my new growth.