If you’re in denial about somebody’s behavior, you won’t know it. In fact, most people will deny they’re in denial!
Try to be honest and write a paragraph about each of the following questions?
It seems to me that the most dangerous item from this checklist -when dealing with a narcissist- is hiding the aspects of the relationship that embarrassed me. The narcissist had a goal to isolate me. Keeping me isolated from friends made me more trauma bonded to my abuser and made me more dependent on him. Outsiders were not welcome in our home and he never wanted to accept invitations. Often, he said we did not have the money to go out with others (even though we did). If I pushed him, he would act out in public and we would not be invited again. Very soon, we didn’t see anyone except his close relatives. When I started to come around and admit that he was abusive, my family and friends did not believe me – because I had covered for him for so long. How many times did I say, “I’m so sorry about the way he behaved. He has food poisoning.”? I had no coping skills for dealing with Narcissist Personality Disorder or it’s distorted manipulations, but I know now that I did not make him that way and I am not responsible for his behavior. He was a grown man and his illness/lying/conniving was his own. I refused to feel guilty or ashamed for the cruel stuff the narcissist did. He did it, not me. I stopped covering for him and people started inviting me out on my own. Once again, I had friends to support me and they encouraged me to escape. All I had to do was admit that we were two different people and his baggage was his own to carry.
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