Happy Turkey Day, bloggers! Today my mom and I are going to have lunch at the nursing home where my step-father is recuperating from knee replacement surgery. Nursing home. With old people. I think it’s really hilarious. I asked my dad if I get my own Kraftmatic Adjustible Bed. I pictured the three of us eating our hospital lunch in our reclining beds and talking about the good old days. He did not think it was funny.
Yesterday I had a hearty laugh at my mom’s expense when I told her to take a good look around because she would be living in the old folk’s home soon enough – unless she starts behaving and I let her live with me. Hahaha. She started stammering. “I am never going to live with you. It’s in my will. You’re not allowed.” I told her I would be feeding her soup from a spoon. “Open up, mommy. Here comes the choo-choo!” hehhehehe She is terrified of “growing old”. (Of course, I will care for my mommy when the time comes.)
I haven’t reblogged any of my older posts yet, but this one seems like a no-brainer.
Enjoy your family time today, dysfunction and all.
“Today I Am Thanking the Narcissist.” 27 June 2014.
I thought of something that I should thank the narcissist for. My narcissist. My lover and my destroyer. The first few months of dating a narcissist are called the Idealization Phase. They use that time to get you emotionally attached to them so they can feed from you later. (Sounds like a scary science fiction plot, doesn’t it?) During this grooming phase, the narcissist showers the target with affection and gifts. Victims say that they never felt so loved before. Sadly, it doesn’t end well.
I had an epiphany today as I was reading one of my recent posts:
As an empath (loving, caring person)(HSP), I will usually give of myself until I crack. This is not a healthy behavior and probably shows a lack of self-love; but in a relationship with a normal person (i.e. not a narcissist), the other partner usually will step in to protect me from giving too much. If I am worrying too much about a situation that I can’t fix, my partner will take me to the zoo for the day. Any outing that distracts me is helpful. If I am giving too much money to a needy friend, my partner will protect me by telling me when to stop. If I am spending too much time on the phone, listening to someone whine while they take no steps to better their situation, my partner will hang up the phone for me. If I overextend myself at work, my partner will pour me a glass of wine and rub my shoulders. I didn’t get any of this loving treatment from the narcissist.
I realized that I did get ALL of this from the narcissist… but only for one month… until the Idealization Phase was over. Then he became progressively nastier and more verbally abusive and insulting to me. One time, he even posted on Facebook that I have saggy cow tits. He certainly didn’t dislike them when we were in bed together. Asswipe.
So what do I have to thank the narcissist for? He helped me to verbalize my ideal mate.
I actually wrote down clearly some of the key qualities that I desire in my mate/husband/lover, and now I know what to look for. The narcissist did that! He modeled for me how a loving husband would behave and now I know. I truly and honestly can express the qualities that are precious to me:
That is the man of my dreams. And you know what? That list is not extravagant or unreasonable. I could actually find that guy! Thank you, narcissist.
“Thanksgiving Day 2014.” is copyright © 2014 by 18mitzvot. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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