The Grand Finale.
The psychopath carefully selects the most indifferent and heartbreaking way imaginable to abandon you. They want you to self-destruct, cleaning up any loose ends as they begin the grooming process with their latest victim. They destroy you as a way to reassure themselves that their new target is better. But most importantly, they destroy you because they hate you. They despise your empathy and love – qualities they must pretend to feel every single day. To destroy you is to temporarily silence the nagging reminder of the emptiness that consumes their soul.
From “Psychopath Free” by Peace. (2014), p. 57
Things I am grateful for, courtesy of the narcissist.
In the homeless shelter, I got 10 minutes of running water to take a shower. At first, I was traumatized because I doubted that I could wash myself in that short a time, but I discovered that it was no hardship at all. I learned I can get really clean in 7 minutes and then just relax in the hot water for a few. I remember this every time I bathe.
After many years of stupidly watching television for five hours at a time, I am back to reading books again. I am reading both fun science-fantasy novels and serious Yiddishkeit (Judaism) classics.
I don’t talk so much with strangers anymore. I always made trouble with my big mouth and strong opinions, but now I make less waves – because I don’t want to reveal myself to strangers.
In many ways, I am braver now because I realize that people are bullshitters. I can talk my way around any professional interview because I just don’t care as much as I used to. I used to get extremely anxious, but now I don’t.
I think about everything that I want to say as if my words were the red button that starts nuclear war. This doesn’t always deter me from being mean, but I am considerably more aware of the impact that my words could have on another living person.