Again the narcissist known as Driftwood is not returning my calls. I fly back to mommy’s house in three days, so clearly I am not making another trip to Driftwood’s home. I guess that is the end of it all. While I did manage to retrieve two antiques and at least fifty boxes, I have no idea what I got! It was very grab-n-go. I do, however, know what I didn’t salvage: Gramma’s typewriter from 1933, a huge quantity of family photos, the rocking chair, the wedding dress I made by my own hand. It feels strange to be done with Driftwood after so many years as husband and wife. We are legally divorced, but we don’t hate each other. I didn’t see that coming. It would be different if he had replaced me the way David did, but Driftwood is no David.
I’ve been blogging for seven months and I want to go on record as saying that I still love David. I realize that he fooled me with some kind of mask, but I still think the guy I loved is trapped inside of him somewhere. It doesn’t matter that I care because I have been No Contact for almost a year. He’s not part of my life anymore. I’m very happy that I wrote so many stories about him. I think they are beautiful, even the ugly ones. He may be sick and dangerous, but he certainly is unique.
I don’t know where I would be if we had never crossed paths. For sure, I’d be in Israel, but I wasn’t fulfilling my potential. I couldn’t possibly explain this in English, but in Hebrew I would say, אחרי ירידה גדולה עלייה גבוהה
I have faith that I will spring back and surpass the level of self-actualization that I was at before I met the narcissist. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I believe I will surpass my former self.