I am still dreaming about homelessness, possessions, and theft.
This time I was in a large department store like Macy’s. It was bright and had large windows looking out onto the street where pedestrians were strolling by, dressed 1950’s style – men in brown suits with hats and women in dresses with fitted bodices and flared skirts. All the women wore this type of hairstyle:
Inside the department store, I was at the jewelry counter looking at shiny, rhinestone, costume jewelry. I wasn’t planning to purchase anything. I was just admiring the designs and the sparkle. The jewelry department was very crowded with lady shoppers. Suddenly, all senior staff members received a message on their earpiece and ran off to handle an emergency. This left only a few salespeople on the floor, all of whom were under 20 years old. Therefore, the women near me immediately started trying to steal the jewelry. They were doing bait-and-switch. They were working in pairs. They were slipping bracelets into their purses and pockets. The young, junior staffer, he couldn’t keep up with them.
Next there was an announcement on the P.A. that the store was on lockdown due to a problem with the powergrid and all shoppers would be staying the night.
Next image, I am laying on an army cot in the jewelry department amongst at least 30 other women on army cots. It resembled my dormitory in the homeless shelter, only with army cots instead of beds (i.e. something even more temporary). The lights were out. My bag of possessions was underneath my cot. I reached down to confirm it was there and touched a furry animal! All kinds of crazy ideas ran through my head as to what it could be; but I looked under the bed and saw that a large, yellow dog was curled up on my belongings. I couldn’t see his head, only his furry back, because it was dark in the store. I noticed that many of the other homeless women were also awake because they were trying to steal jewelry. Women were trying to slip stolen jewelry into my bag as well! Then in the dark, I petted another furry, white dog that I could feel but only saw his back.
Early in the morning, the staff woke us because they needed to put away the cots before the store could open. We were free to go. I knew I had stolen jewelry planted in my knapsack and would set off the door alarms if I tried to leave the store, so I sat on a bench near the exit and sorted my bag, removing any jewelry that wasn’t mine. Much of the jewelry did, in fact, belong to me; but the extra pieces, I took out. Even at that, women were still slipping more pieces of stolen jewelry into my bag! They knew I would set off the alarms and security would take me away, so why were they trying to make me a thief?!
Unperturbed, I continued to remove the stolen jewelry until my sack was free of stolen goods. Then I woke up.
This dream has many elements taken directly from my daily life this week:
•The powergrid outage in Aurora, Illinois shutdown both Chicago airports for three days.
•The rhinestone jewelry is the collection that I am trying to take from Driftwood’s house later today.
•I feel more homeless now than when I was in a shelter even.
•Driftwood says I am a thief because I want my own possessions from our house.
•He keeps trying to label me “THIEF” because of his cognitive dissonance and I keep rejecting the label. (future post)
•I have no idea what the furry dogs are about. Loyalty? Security?
•The young sales staff could represent either how angry I am that I continue to lose jobs to 20 year old kids or it is a reference to Driftwood’s immaturity and inability to manage.
•The jewelry counter in the department store is probably because I had just visited my 97 year old step-grandmother who used to work in the fine jewelry department at Marshall Field’s State Street in Chicago.
I woke up feeling very disturbed that I was homeless and alone in the world, and you may notice that I finished the dream before I left the store. (What does that mean?) Yet, I remember feeling good that at least I had my possessions. That may sound terrible, but in the prior dreams, I was homeless and possession-less.
To sum up:
•Narcissist calls me a “Thief”, but I reject it.
•I am still more fixated on the possessions than my freedom; but I am preparing for a clean break. Maybe.
•I have no idea why I was caressing furry dogs or why I couldn’t see their snout.
•I am still waking up feeling disturbed and worn.
Hopefully, I am moving toward peacefulness and completeness (and the exit) in my Dreamland department stores. Please, God, let the peaceful dreams return to me soon because I am tired and afraid.
“Still Having Dreams About Homelessness.” is copyright © 2014 by 18mitzvot. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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