It has come to my attention that David has met someone and their relationship is serious. I did pray for him to meet someone and marry, but I am not happy. For me, the grief is starting all over again. I have a strong urge to numb these uncomfortable feelings with drugs.
I feel useless. I survived such an ordeal and so much suffering. I thought it had purpose. I thought it was for a so called “Life Lesson” or a greater Truth, and I was patiently biding my time until the ah-ha moment when it would all make mystical sense to me. I thought I had been tested and had passed, so now the lesson would be forthcoming.
But it isn’t true. My suffering seems to have been for nothing. I am not better for it and David is moving on. I wasted… everything.
The Sages of the Talmud say that no prayer is wasted. Every prayer creates a ripple in the Waters of the universe, and if the effect cannot come back directly to me, it will come back to benefit someone else. Every prayer comes back to benefit someone. No prayer is useless or silly.
I prayed for David to be happy and now he will be.
Question: Who is praying for me?