Disclaimer: This post is about child abuse. Please do not read if you are under age 18 or may be triggered.
Today I want to write about sexual predators because Driftwood’s father is a child molester and it is relevant to how my ex became a narcissist. I find that people prefer the term “child molester” because it is less graphic. I think “molester” makes it easier to pretend that maybe the dirty old man just put his hands in the little kid’s underwear. Surely the pedophile wasn’t actually sexually aroused by a child? (Denial.) That’s why I prefer the term “child rapist”. There’s no euphemism there. ” Rapist” cuts right through the fluffy cloud fantasies and forces the listener to understand that an adult violated a child with an inappropriate sex act.
My ex-father-in-law is a child rapist. His first child, a daughter, died at age 11 from an extremely rare cancer of the ovaries. His next child was a son. He joined the army right after high school, then the Peace Corps, and he never looked back. The last child was my ex-husband, Driftwood. After his sister died, the family adopted a girl from Korea. She tried to kill herself when she was in her early twenties. Last is Elise. Elise was adopted from India. Elise is the only family member who speaks out about the abuse that they all endured.
Elise told me in graphic detail (which I wish she hadn’t) that her first few years with her new family were normal – until her 12th birthday. That evening, after her party, her adopted father came into her bedroom, had her lie on her bed, and molested her for the first time. He fondled and touched her all over her body, and he put his fingers in her vagina. He continued to abuse her for years. She got married straight out of high school and moved out asap. The most telling detail of her story is the date it began: her 12th birthday.
The pedophile’s first daughter never had a 12th birthday because he murdered her with sexual abuse. I can’t imagine how guilty he must have felt knowing that what he did to her gave her cancer.
But what about the mother, the wife? She blames Elise. She hates that child. She believes that everything would have been fine if they had just not adopted that second girl. She is in complete denial about her husband’s culpability.
Now you have the father’s main contribution for how Driftwood became a narcissist. I have condensed 20 years down to just a few paragraphs, but this is where the truth begins. Question: did you read this and assume that only the girl children were abused?
You must log in to post a comment.