Driftwood and I went to marriage counselling for a long time, twice a month for a year and a half. Early on, he declared that our counselor was a fraud and “on my side” because she was a woman. I offered to change counselors, but he just wanted to complain, so we continued to see the female counselor. It was pitiful. She would give us ridiculously simple homework assignments and he wouldn’t do them. For example, she told us that we needed to spend more time together. Hear me again. We paid a professional therapist our precious money to write us a prescription that husband and wife needed to spend time together. She suggested that we leave the house and take a walk together around our neighborhood. She pointed out that as long as we were inside our house, we would be distracted by the dirty dishes, the laundry basket, the sink that needed to be fixed, etc. I thought this was very wise advice. So all we had to do for our homework assignment was to leave the house and take a walk together… But he wouldn’t do it with me.
After the year and a half, the marriage counselor advised me to leave my husband! She said he was never going to grow up and take part in an adult marriage.
-So I fired her.
How could a professional family therapist / marriage counselor tell her client to get divorced?! It was like a firefighter setting a house on fire. I was really angry… at HER. I rebelled at the injustice.
Fast forward ten years. I have been studying Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Now I see that she had no idea what we were dealing with. She did not know what Driftwood’s problem was, but she could see that it was forever. She tried to help as best she could; and that meant taking care of me. You know you’re in trouble when your marriage counselor tells you to get divorced!