One of the reasons that I write is to dissect my puzzling past with the narcissist and then to rearrange the parts in a way that creates clarity for me. In a nutshell, I am trying to figure out what happened. As I examined the crap pile that has been my Lovelife, I got slapped by a nasty, new discovery. I got used and discarded (and wounded) by one narcissist because I had been psychologically damaged by another. Damn.
Driftwood and I married in August 2000. He is the reason that David was able to get to me. After six years of marriage to Driftwood, I had been damaged. When David came along, he recognized my weaknesses immediately and used them to his own advantage.
I am not a first-timer! I cannot tell you how embarrassed I am about this epiphany. I shouldn’t be, but that is my initial reaction. Lots of articles talk about narcissists re-using some other narcissist’s throw-aways. I like to think of this as “getting blood from a stone”.
While both the ex-husband, Driftwood, and the ex-zivug, David, are NPD; they are vastly different. David is the typical narcissist: suave, charismatic, articulate, and a predator. Driftwood is socially-inept, introverted, and an opportunist. But the main difference between them is that I loved David.
I need to start writing about Driftwood because we are in a court fight over money. The law says he has to buy me out of the marital home but he says what’s ours is his. Narcs don’t share, you know. Nine years since I left him and I am still not free. I have a lot of angry feelings about this man.
I have had great success with my psychological healing by blogging about David, so I hope it will help me to blog about Driftwood. Here goes…