Can they be used to prevent catastrophes?
How do I know this? Because it would contradict what I have named my BIG DIPPER THEORY of PREDESTINATION. mwwahhahah. (Ya gotta love WordPress because it allows any one to blog about any thing.) At the end of this post, I will explain how this theory relates to the victims of narcissists and sociopaths. Wait for it…
The Big Dipper Theory of Predestination (in all its’ glory):
I birthed this idea while I was reading Da’at Tevunot by Reb Chaim Luzzatto. Ramchal writes that all of Creation is moving towards goodness and perfection, towards union with the Creator. He further explains that it doesn’t matter whether we want to do this or not, because the Creator established the world to be moving constantly (albeit slowly) towards perfection.
Humans may be able to escape gravity if we construct a rocket and leave our atmosphere, but there exists no possible way to escape this movement towards perfection – because it is God’s Will.
Based on this, it seems to me that my future unfolds like the Big Dipper or a constellation of stars.
There are fixed points that I must reach, experience, and survive. Some of these are difficult tests (trials and sufferings). Some are awesome, for example, giving birth. Some involve meeting another soul at just the right place and in just the right time. Etcetera.
God charted out the next star destination for me, but how I get to that star is entirely up to me. God even tries to direct me to the most pleasant route to that next star. “Go right, Rivka. You’ll love it.” but, being disobedient, I resist. “No thanks, Abba. I’d rather go left. That route looks more interesting.” Then I chase after my eyes and get stuck in the mud of life… BUT… I am still going to eventually end up at that next star destination that was predestined for me before I was born and that, maybe, I even agreed to when I was preparing to come to this world.
I know this theory has merit because it’s so simple.
So The Big Dipper Theory of Predestination states:
The reason is because God created all the systems of the entire worlds to be moving slowly but steadily towards goodness and perfection. (Ramchal)
Okay. Deep breath. How does this relate to being the target and victim of a narcissist?
I feel that this part will work best if I stick to my own experiences instead of making general statements for everybody. If you have read this far, then I am sure you are motivated enough to plot your own constellation. Let’s continue.
I moved to Israel from Miami. David (the narcissist) moved to Israel from Toronto. We met in Israel. Would there have been any other way for us to meet? It seems extremely unlikely. It seems to me that we both got picked up by the scruff of our neck and placed in Israel precisely so we could meet.
Once we met, he was reluctant to get involved in a romantic relationship with me. Then, he got evicted from his apartment and I took him in like one of my stray cats. By then, neither of us had acted to bring about a romantic relationship but suddenly we were living together! What? I blinked and missed something. At this point, we were both pawns. David did not manipulate me to take him in and I certainly did not cause him to get evicted. Narcissists often have that kind of drama in their lives.
Once we were living together (because that was the predetermined star point), only then was it up to us how we would reach our next destinations. Here is where the test starts. I think that the test was really for David and that my part could have been substituted by anyone, probably. It seems to me that David’s Test was to see if he could love another human being or would he narcissist-puke all over me? What David chose to do was run. He left me and he left Israel as fast as he could. I can ‘understand’ that the narcissist discarded me, but to discard Israel was shocking.
After that, I left my star path. I was supposed to wait in Israel, but I couldn’t. My grief was so debilitating that I begged God to let me leave Israel. I knew it was so wrong, but I begged for permission anyhow. Ask yourself, “At what point did you beg to be with the narcissist? At what point did you choose to run after something bad?”
No matter what happened to me after I chose David over Israel, I will eventually get back to my correct path and land on my next star – because that is the meaning of destiny. For sure the narcissist tortured me and left me spiritually “broken”; but vessels have to be emptied before they can be filled. I hate to admit this, but I had no idea what I was capable of before the narcissist. Even this blog is a result of meeting the narcissist. I don’t yet know what all will have come from the pain of having been devalued, discarded, and broken by David. I doubt I will ever be grateful for those experiences. However, I do trust and believe that he took me from my path only temporarily. As powerful as the narcissist seems to be, he cannot undo my destiny.
My destiny is to move towards goodness and perfection. And so is yours.
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