You hurt me. I hate you. Go to Hell.
Signed, Your Victim
This is the letter I am supposed to be writing to my Narcissist. However, I have a few little changes I need to make, you know, to personalize it, to make it fit my experience – which is unique. The first change I want to make is the greeting. Instead of “Dear Narcissist”, I want to write “Dear David”. David is a whole person. He has faults. He has weaknesses. He has a mental illness called “Narcissism”. But he also has a genius IQ, a unique and creative mind. He weaves magnificent stories in the blink of an eye. He draws Batman wearing Batboxer shorts and trying to seduce Catwoman. He knows that ‘avatar’ means idolatry. He invented a way to cook poodle so it is kosher. He laughs heartily at my subversive humor. He knows it’s immoral for the Canadian government to install cameras on the subway. He would make an awesome fighting Sith Lord, and he fantasizes about flying a rescue helicopter to South America.
You hurt me. It’s true. But I still love you and I miss you so much.
If only you could see my Walnut Theory, that you are trapped in a shell that isolates you from the true world. You are a puppet to your illnesses. They manipulate you. They pull the strings and you obey.
You are a medic. You should know that every illness has both signs and symptoms. Some of the signs of narcissism are: inability to feel empathy towards others, inability to respond to the needs of others, difficulty admitting mistakes, inflated ego and sensitivity to criticism. And symptoms of narcissism include: isolation, feeling misunderstood, boredom, emotional death, anger.
I hate seeing you like this. I don’t care if no-one ever got cured of narcissism, PTSD, and multiple personality disorder. I believe you can do it. I have faith in you. You can be the first narcissist ever to recover. I’ll write the book and you can draw the storyboards when we share your miraculous recovery with the world.
The first day I met you, I told you, ” You and I, we’re going to be friends.” If you ever remember, it would make me so happy to see you again.
All my love, Rivka