I know from personal experience that secrets I hold to myself will permeate my life and make me unhappy because they will continue to bubble up like the Laguna Tar Pits.
Keeping secrets makes me feel disquieted and I hate that feeling. Therefore, I have to write about all the nasty parts of dating a narcissist, committing suicide, and recovering.
I don’t want to do it.
I don’t want to rehash negative incidents.
I don’t want to speak badly about my narcissist.
I don’t want to revisit the dark places that cause one to take their own life.
… BUT… if I sweep all this under the rug I will regret it later because secrets always bubble up. They will make themselves seen and they will mentally torment me. Therefore, I am going to blog this difficult stuff even if it hurts me to look at it again – because I want to heal. I want to look back at my narcissist-induced trauma and laugh.