Month: May 2014

Being Selfish.

I know from personal experience that secrets I hold to myself will permeate my life and make me unhappy because they will continue to bubble up like the Laguna Tar Pits. Keeping secrets makes me feel disquieted and I hate that feeling. Therefore, I have to write about all the nasty parts of dating a Read More

Reblog: The size of now

I find this post to be very optimistic. Fear causes me to procrastinate, but plowing through that fear makes me feel better, relieved, successful, and brave. Read More

List of the Worst Things Narcissist did to Hurt Me. (Dec 2013)

After my breakdown in November 2013, a friend asked me to make a list of the worst things the Narcissist did to hurt me. This is before his breakdown when he started threatening to actually kill me. I still don’t know if he checked himself into the psych ward to protect me or if the Read More

What am I going to tell my Mother?

Disclaimer:  graphic image. Do not read this post if you are under 18 years old or you may be triggered by blood. . . 40 second Recap… Narcissist. Honeymoon. Discard. Cognitive dissonance. Devalue. More devalue. Still more devalue. More discard. Self-destruction. What? You’re not dead?! Narcissist goes insane. Target escapes. Homeless shelter. After 28 nights Read More

No Contact: “Resistance is futile.”

The point at which I clearly should have started No Contact was when the Narcissist started No Contact. After he decided that I no longer existed, then I no longer existed. Had I been much younger, perhaps I would have driven past his apartment a few times a day or ‘bumped into him’ in the Read More

Admin. 27May2014.

Dear Readers (friends), Excellent news… my mother is taking me in so that I can escape the homeless shelter. I have so many posts inside of me that are bursting to get out. I am returning to live with my step-father! Oh boy, this should be good for blog material… The reason I am blurting Read More

(Not) Letting Go.

Last night I re-read my first dozen posts, which were all recordings of memories of my zivug. Such sweet stories. How we met, adventures we had, a perfect kiss, the first touch. I think we had a beautiful love affair (when we were in Israel). I wrote down all the memories so that I could Read More

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