This has been a very stressful week. My roommate is going thru drug withdrawal. For three hours she sobs and then for three hours she is angry and yelling. Three hours sobbing, three hours yelling – going on a week now. This is such a bad place for me to live. She got me to come live with her by telling me, “We can live like sisters, grow together in Torah, keep kosher together, keep Shabbes together, and be a family for each other.” It turns out she needed $1200 to get her car fixed and looked at me as her new mark. Bummer. I would have liked to be part of a loving family. She is sweet to me for the ten minutes that she tries to extort money, and then as soon as I give her the money, she wants me to move out. And what a control freak! She said I was using too much toilet paper, so I bought a 40-pack. The package was over 3-feet long. But did she say ‘thank you’? Hell no. She said, and I quote, “I can teach you how to wipe your ass so that you use less toilet paper.”
If it happened to someone else, I would think it was hysterical. Let me tell you about my roommate’s Narcissism. Some Narcissism is caused mainly by trauma in childhood; for example, being raped. From then on, the victim becomes obsessed with Control. If they can control every aspect of their environment, including the lives of the people who have to live with them, then the Narcissist can feel safe. Still, everything is always about them. When she meets a new person, she immediately sizes up whether she might get money from them and she covets whatever stuff they have. It’s very dark.
I am reminded of a saying I heard once:
Selfish people are like dandelions.
If you give them an inch, they will take the whole yard.
(Sorry, I don’t know how to make pretty quote boxes.) But I got lucky. Today I got a job! Yeah! One paystub and I am outta here. Maybe sooner. Yesterday I went to scope out the homeless shelter. Now there’s something I thought I’d never have to do. You have to check-in by 3:45 pm and then they run your clothes through an industrial dryer to ‘control pests’. You get to sleep there and they provide meals. Everyone gets up early and is in church by 8 am. Yes, church. Then you are allowed free time until 6 pm. At 6 pm, they lock the gates and you can’t get in unless you have a work pass. That’s the homeless shelter. I was willing to submit to it and prepared to check in tomorrow, until I got offered this job. Now I don’t think I can manage both a new job and a homeless shelter at the same time. I’m gonna have to kiss the Narcissist’s ass for a few weeks until I get a paystub. With the paystub, I can sign a rental lease. I am counting this as a win because I am going to escape her shenanigans and live happily ever after.
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